Not too long ago, the adult child of elderly parents revealed the pain and frustration they encountered when trying to clean up the family home. The place was beyond cluttered– it was actually hazardous, but the parents resented any efforts to help.
“I hired a maid… [My mother] didn’t talk to me for months,” the son or daughter posted on a Children of Hoarders discussion board. “I filled two construction dumpsters full and there was still 2,400 square feet left to clean up. Eventually the maid quit when my Dad berated her for throwing away a plate with petrified ketchup gluing a dead mouse to it. That was the last time I tried to ‘help.’”
This situation is not uncommon and highlights the emotional and practical challenges of dealing with hoarding in seniors. Seeing them in unsanitary living conditions, complete with fire hazards and increased risk of falling, can be almost too much to bear, but the wrong approach can prevent progress and even force you to take measures that impact your relationship with elderly loved ones. In this guide, we share some practical tips that can help you support your loved one and make a difference in their quality of life.
Understanding Hoarding and Its Impact on Seniors
According to a study by the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, hoarding disorder affects approximately 4% of the general population. That number increases to 6.2% among senior citizens. In other words, the elderly are more likely to live in cluttered spaces where-
- Countertops, sinks, and tables are piled with dirty dishes or other items.
- The garage, attic, or basement appears to be a dumping ground.
- Animal waste covers the ground and other surfaces.
- There are expired medications and outdated food items creating a mess.
Hoarding is more than just collecting items; it’s a behavioural disorder where individuals accumulate excessive belongings, leading to severe clutter that affects their quality of life. Seniors in particular might resist discarding items, citing sentimental value, potential future use, or good deals they got. Helping them is not always easy, but persistence and patience can make a huge difference in their safety at home and quality of life.
Helping a Senior With Hoarding Problems
Helping a senior with hoarding issues requires sensitivity as well as patience. Here are some steps to consider:
- Work Together and Offer Choices: Instead of making decisions for them, involve your loved one in the process. For instance, ask if they’d prefer to start with the bedroom or kitchen or if they want to begin cleaning on a specific day. Providing choices can help them feel more in control and reduce resistance to change.
- Be Compassionate: Approach the situation with care and empathy. This includes expressing your concerns about their health and safety without being judgmental, validating their feelings, and acknowledging the emotional attachment they have to their belongings. This approach helps in building trust and making them more receptive to assistance.
- Take It Slow: Don’t rush to clean their home. Sudden changes can be overwhelming and might lead to resistance. Focus on gradual progress unless there’s an immediate danger, like tripping or fire hazards. Set small, manageable goals and celebrate each achievement to maintain motivation and momentum.
- Remove Discarded Items Immediately: Ensure that discarded items are removed from the home right away. Leaving them around might tempt your loved one to retrieve them.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge each cleared area or room. Positive reinforcement can motivate further progress. Encourage them by highlighting the benefits of a cleaner space, such as increased safety and comfort.
- Involve Professionals: If the hoarding behaviour is severe or your loved one is resistant to help, therapists specializing in hoarding disorder can provide strategies to manage and overcome it. Hoarder cleanup services can also help with the physical task of decluttering.
How to Offer Long-Term Support
Supporting a senior with hoarding issues goes beyond cleaning their home; it also involves ongoing emotional and practical assistance. Here are additional tips to help:
- Regular Check-Ins: Visit your loved one frequently to ensure they’re maintaining a clutter-free environment and to provide moral support. Regular visits also provide an opportunity to celebrate progress and discuss any difficulties they may be experiencing. If you live far away, consider arranging for a local friend or community member to check in regularly.
- Create a Maintenance Plan: Develop a plan to keep the home organized, with regular cleaning schedules and designated spaces for essential items. For example, daily tasks might include putting away dishes and mail while weekly tasks could involve cleaning bathrooms and sorting through mail. Monthly tasks might include more thorough cleanings, such as clearing out closets or deep-cleaning the kitchen.
- Encourage Hobbies and Activities: Engage your loved one in activities that bring joy and reduce isolation. This can help shift their focus away from acquiring and holding onto items. Activities like gardening, painting, or attending local community events can be very effective.
- Offer Emotional and Practical Support: Offer emotional support by listening to their concerns and providing reassurance. Practical support can include helping with tasks that they find overwhelming, such as organizing paperwork or dealing with utility bills.
Additional Resources for Seniors Struggling With Hoarding
Seniors at Risk in Hamilton Collaborative
If you’re looking for more support options, especially for seniors in the Hamilton area, the Seniors at Risk in Hamilton Collaborative offers a range of services. They provide interventions and support for seniors dealing with issues like dementia, abuse, mental and physical health challenges, precarious housing, food insecurity, and social isolation. This free service is available for older adults aged 55 and over.
Their services offered include:
- Case management and coordination with community agencies
- Advocacy and education, particularly for those experiencing abuse
- Housing and benefits application assistance
- Dementia and caregiver support
- Homelessness prevention and intervention, including hoarding issues
- Legal support related to housing issues
- Volunteer telephone support and virtual senior group meetings
Extreme Cleaning and Hoarding Support Program
The Extreme Cleaning and Hoarding Support Program helps seniors create a safe living environment through intensive cleaning and support. This free service includes junk removal, cleaning supplies, and coordination with community partners like healthcare workers and fire services. It’s available to seniors aged 65+ (or 55+ with mental health issues) and works with local residents to clean and maintain their homes.
Seniors can self-refer or be referred by community supports. The process includes an initial assessment and a personalized cleaning plan, with a Hoarding Support Worker assiting. Although the program is currently closed for new referrals, interested individuals can sign up for notifications when it reopens.
Professional Hoarder Cleaning Services Are Available
Helping a senior with hoarding problems is a challenging but extremely compassionate act. By understanding the underlying causes, taking a patient and empathetic approach, and involving professionals when needed, you can make a difference in your loved one’s quality of life. Remember: the goal is not just to clean the home but to support your loved one in leading a safer, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
At WeMove-It.com, we are pleased to offer specialized hoarder cleanup services (including emergency responses) for those struggling to restore the safety and functionality of their home. Our cleaning experts will remove garbage and unwanted items while preserving cherished items and personal records, and we even provide deep cleaning and restoration services. For more information or to get your free estimate, contact us today.
